The Cat’s Pyjamas
Language is funny if you put on a clown lens. How can you explain proverbs to people when the sayings are so nonsensical?
Learning English can be challenging! We decided to clown around with popular sayings and proverbs. Nothing seems to make sense when you look closely. How are newcomers supposed to understand what you’re saying? We thought the clowns could illustrate.
Proverbs and Sayings used in The Cat’s Pajamas:
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
Money doesn’t grow on trees
Rome wasn’t built in a day
As slow as molasses in January
As sharp as a tack
Hang on to your horses
As slow as a snail
Go that extra mile
As easy as pie
Raining cats and dogs
Fit to be tied
Go fly a kite
The cat’s pajamas
The early bird catches the worm
If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try again
Time flies while you’re having fun!
A friend in need, is a friend indeed
The Cat’s Pajamas
Characters:
TEACHER
PARENT
VOICE
RAINA
RAMONA
2 CLOWNS
Scene 1
(Schoolroom, PARENT/TEACHER meeting, music “School Days”)
PARENT: (entering) Hello? I’m Mrs. Andres. You wanted to see me?
TEACHER: Yes, hello. I’m sorry but your child is just not doing well in Mathematics.
PARENT: I tell him to do his homework but he just stares at it. I don’t know what to do.
TEACHER: Well, you know that “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Horses?
(Bicycle horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN holds up a bucket of water while the other CLOWN tries to make its Hobby horse drink but the horse keeps spitting out the water and finally spits on the other CLOWN. Bicycle horn honks.)
PARENT: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
TEACHER: Were you good at math as a child?
PARENT: Oh no, I was hopeless. I was just terrible at Mathematics.
TEACHER: It’s true that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Apples? Tree?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN is a tree holding an apple. She throws it off stage left. The other CLOWN runs and grabs it and instructs the CLOWN to drop it straight down, carefully. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Is there anything I can do to help?
TEACHER: A tutor might help, but they can be expensive. I know that “money doesn’t grow on trees.”
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Money? Trees?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN is a tree clutching money in its branches. The other CLOWN is shaking her head, taking the money away and giving back the apple. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, yes, you’re right. Maybe my husband can try to help her.
TEACHER: Yes, she does need help. Don’t worry. Now that we know what the problem is, she will improve, but it will take time. After all, “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Rome?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS are stacking boxes on two pillars to make a tower. It keeps toppling over. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”
TEACHER: Have you tried the internet? It has some good games that teach mathematics.
PARENT: I am trying to connect my computer to the internet but I am having trouble getting through to the phone company. It is so slow!!
TEACHER: Yes I know, it’s probably “as slow as molasses in January!!”
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Molasses? January?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. A CLOWN has a brown Molasses like cloth over her head and she is moving in slow motion. The other CLOWN is in a toque and scarf shivering. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “As slow as molasses in January!!” I’d better go home and try again. Thanks so much!
TEACHER: Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s “as sharp as a tack”!
(TEACHER holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes)
PARENT: Sharp? Tack?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN puts an imaginary tack on the chair. The other CLOWN sits down, jumps up and chases the other CLOWN around the stage and into the audience. Horn honks.)
PARENT: Yes, she’s “as sharp as a tack!”
(The PARENT goes home CS and a phone operator appears SR. The CLOWNS eventually return to SL. Music “School Days” instrumental)
Scene 2
PARENT: (on phone) Hello?
VOICE: Hello. We are experiencing a higher volume of calls than usual at the moment. Please “hang on to your horses”. Your call is important to us.
(VOICE holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Horses?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS are desperately trying to hang on to their horses. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Hang on to your horses.”
VOICE: Is your connection “as slow as a snail? Go that extra mile” and get wireless.
(VOICE holds up a sign with “as slow as a snail” and “Go that extra mile” written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Snail?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. A CLOWN has a Snail hat and she is running in slow motion. The other CLOWN is trying to hurry her along. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “As slow as a snail? Go that extra mile.”
VOICE: Please press one for our menu.
(PARENT looks confused and presses one.)
VOICE: Welcome to our main menu. This will be “as easy as pie”.
(VOICE holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Pie?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. A CLOWN is miming rolling out pie dough and baking a pie. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “As easy as pie?”
VOICE: To pay a bill, press one. For change of address, press two. For bundles, press three.
(PARENT looks confused. The CLOWNS are counting numbers on their fingers. One CLOWN keeps getting it wrong.)
VOICE: For wireless, press four. For internet, press five.
(PARENT looks confused and presses a key.)
VOICE: You have pressed an incorrect key. To pay a bill, press one. For change of address, press two. For bundles, press three.
(PARENT looks confused and makes rash comments.)
VOICE: For wireless, press four. For internet, press five.
(PARENT looks confused and presses a key.)
VOICE: Listen carefully, this will be easy. For dial-up, press one. For wireless, press two. To play Chess, press three. To play jump rope, press four. To play math games, press five. To speak to a service agent, press six.
PARENT: Easy?
(Horn honks. The CLOWNS begin playing the games, etc. The CLOWNS are hurrying to catch up. Horn honks.)
PARENT: (looking confused) I need some help, I’ll press six. Hello??
VOICE: Hello. We are experiencing a higher volume of calls than usual at the moment. Please “hang on to your horses”. Your call is important to us.
(VOICE holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes)
PARENT: Horses again??
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS are desperately trying to hold on to their horses. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Hang on to your horses?”
VOICE: Is your connection “as slow as a snail? Go that extra mile” and get wireless.
(VOICE holds up a sign with “as slow as a snail” and “Go that extra mile” written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Snails?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. A CLOWN has a Snail hat and she is running in slow motion. The other CLOWN is trying to hurry her along. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “As slow as a snail? Go that extra mile?”
VOICE: Please press one for our menu.
(Pause. PARENT looks confused and presses one.)
VOICE: Welcome to our main menu. This will be “as easy as pie”.
(VOICE holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Pie again??
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWN is just pulling the mime pie out of the oven. They both have a piece, then offer some to the audience. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “As easy as pie?” I need tea.
(PARENT sighs, puts down the phone and goes to make tea. The doorbell rings. PARENT goes to answer the door.)
Scene 3
PARENT: Oh, Hello!
RAINA: We were in the neighbourhood when it started “raining cats and dogs” so we thought we would stop in to say hello.
PARENT: “Raining cats and dogs?”
RAINA: It just means it’s pouring.
(RAINA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes. Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One clown starts throwing stuffed cats and dogs in the air while the other is surprised that it is raining. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Raining cats and dogs.” Oh, thank you for coming. I was just on the phone trying to get the internet hooked up, but I was having trouble with the language.
RAMONA: Oh, I know, I’d be “fit to be tied”, those recorded messages are terrible.
(RAMONA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Tied up??
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN runs while the other CLOWN lassoes her. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Fit to be tied.”
RAINA: (shaking her head) I’d like to tell them to “go fly a kite”!
PARENT: “Fly a kite?”
RAINA: I’d like them to just go away.
(RAINA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes. (Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS look at each other and then begin to fly an imaginary kite. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Go fly a kite.” (Getting upset) Oh, I’m never going to learn English.
RAMONA: Lots of people have come to this country that didn’t speak English! You can learn too! I have a song about that. May I…..?
(RAMONA goes to keyboard and starts playing and singing an old version of “Red River Valley”.)
RAINA: That was “the cat’s pajamas!!!”
PARENT: “The cat’s pajamas?”
RAINA: Yes, that was great!
(RAINA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes. Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN is holding pajamas and trying to dress the other CLOWN, who has a cat on her head. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “The cat’s pajamas.” Would you like a cup of tea? I have some on the stove.
RAMONA: Just a quick one. We’re going shopping and “the early bird catches the worm!”
(RAMONA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Worms??
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN is a bird, pecking for worms. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “The early bird catches the worm.”
RAMONA: I wish I could help you with your internet.
RAINA: Just don’t give up trying! “If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try again.”
(RAINA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Try again?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. One CLOWN is a bird again, she keeps pecking for worms. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try again.”
RAMONA: Maybe my son could help you hook up to the internet. I’ll get my son to call you. He’ll have some good ideas.
RAINA: That’s a good idea. He’d know just what to do.
PARENT: Oh, that would be so helpful!
RAINA: We’d better go now or we’ll be late. “Time flies while you’re having fun!”
(RAINA holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
PARENT: Time flying?
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS are flying a clock. Horn honks.)
PARENT: “Time flies while you are having fun.” Thanks for coming. Now I have one for you, “A friend in need, is a friend indeed.”
(PARENT holds up a sign with proverb written on it and freezes.)
RAMONA and RAINA: Yes friends!
(Horn honks. On the other side of the stage the CLOWNS take focus. The CLOWNS make up and become friends. Horn honks. RAMONA bursts into song, “The More We Get Together”. General singing and dancing…..)
END
