When Did Life Get So Serious?

Where did I lose my sense of humour? Is it in the sink or under the pile of dirty laundry?

Mar 07, 2024

I didn’t realize that I had stopped laughing until I started again. This serious being adult business was wearing me down. As I started clowning onstage it affected all parts of my life. Taking clowning into the hospital affected other lives too, but suddenly the clown program was in crisis.

Humour and Health

“How To” manuals became quite popular in the 90’s. I took bits from these books on humour and put together a list on the “how to’s” of using humour to improve your quality of life. I was interested in the idea that I could change my life by embracing the humourous and bizarre. In parenting, the idea of laughing instead of crying or yelling had never occurred to me before. I began to find my long-buried sense of humour and tried not to take everything so seriously. I found that my relationships with people close to me began to change. A friend pointed out to me that humour is not always good – that humour can be derisive and used effectively to hurt and humiliate people. I argued with him then, but more and more I see his point. It seems that humour is becoming amplified in the media as a destructive force. The practice of derisive laughter in images is in danger of overshadowing the perception of the benefits of joyous laughter.

Dealing with Stress in the Workplace (cont’d.)

Take your work seriously and yourself lightly. Humour helps create relationships that are more relaxed and accepting. Being able to shift perspective and enjoy working increases creativity and productivity.
Find subtle ways to be silly at work. Send yourself flowers on a bad day, wear goofy underwear, juggle white-out when no-one is looking, carry silly pictures in your wallet, trade jokes on Fridays.
Set limits on work and stress. Develop rituals that mark the end of work time and the beginning of free time. Try strategies like make a list of unfinished tasks and lock it in the drawer before you leave work, keep a clown nose in your glove compartment, put something foolish on as soon as you leave work.
Use verbal Aikido for humourous comebacks.

One of Aikido’s principal tenets can be summed up in two sentences - “When pushed, pull. When pulled, push.”...
The Attack -“It won’t work.” Aikido Response - “You’re probably right. There’s no warranty on any idea. What problems do you see?”
The Attack - “You women are all the same.” Aikido Response - “I’m glad you noticed. Now that we’ve settled that, what’s the problem?”
The Attack - “You’re too young to understand.” Aikido Response - “I’m as old as I can be for my age. What’s the problem?”

Letter Home

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m sorry for not writing, but hope you will understand. First, sit down before you read any further.

I’m doing much better after recovering from the concussion I received jumping from my dorm window when it caught fire last month. I can almost see normally thanks to the loving care of Norman, the janitor who pulled me from the flames. He more than saved me: he’s become my whole life. I have been living with him since the fire. We are planning on getting married. We haven’t got a date yet, but plan to have one soon, before my pregnancy shows.

Yes I’m pregnant. I know you would be excited for me, knowing how much you want to be grandparents. We’d be married now, if it weren’t for Norman’s infection that prevented him from passing the premarital blood test. I caught it from him, but the doctor’s are positive it won’t affect the child.

Although not well-educated, I know your often-expressed tolerance will make it easy for you to accept Norm.

Your loving daughter

Susie

P.S. There was no fire. I have no concussion. I’m not pregnant, and there is no Norman. However I am getting an “F” in Biology and wanted you to see that grade in its proper perspective.

When you laugh at yourself, you will always be amused. In clowning, instead of being overly critical with ourselves for our shortcomings, we exaggerate them and make them funny. This releases tension and gives us more self-acceptance. Our shortcomings and faults are well understood and enjoyed by others.

It was from Steve that I learned the difference between stupid and silly. “Stupid,” Dr. Allen says, “means ignorant and uneducated. You do stupid things because you don’t know any better. Having fun and playing is not stupid - it is silly.”
Silly, Allen points out, derives originally from the Old English (ge)saelig, which meant completely happy, blessed. “Silly” was a blessing you wished upon those you loved. It meant to be happy, prosperous and healthy.

C.W. Metcalf from Lighten Up

Silly Things to Try

Make a list of things you enjoy. What keeps you from doing these things now? How can you make more room in your life for those things? Over time, try to expand the list.
Learn to play for simple fun and enjoyment. Try juggling, clowning, cooperative games, a course in a creative interest.
Learn to do nothing. Can you remember how to relax and enjoy the moment?
Make your weekends a special time for play.
Find ways to express your sense of joy in life. Try dancing in the living room, singing in the shower, howling in your car.
Put humour in the environment. Try cartoons, pictures on the wall, joke of the week. Have a drawer with wind-up toys, clown noses or a rubber chicken to brighten up bleak days.
Cultivate relationships with people that make you feel good, people that you can laugh with and do the things you enjoy.
Connect with what you have enjoyed from childhood to adulthood. How did you play? What made you laugh? What have you loved to do?

Suggested Reading

Cousins, Norman. Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient: Reflections on Healing and Regeneration. New York: Norton, 1979.

___ The Healing Heart: Antidotes to Pain and Helplessness. New York: Norton, 1983.

___ Head First: The Biology of Hope. New York: Dutton, 1989.

Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1959.

Metcalf, C.W. Lighten Up: Survival Skills for People Under Pressure. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1992

Paulson, Terry. Making Humour Work: Take Your Job Seriously and Yourself Lightly. Los Altos, CA: Crisp Publications, 1989

Thank you for reading Foolish Peacock. This post is public so feel free to share it.

References and Suggested Reading